The one not here

I lost him long ago although it was thirty-three years later that he died.  He was the sweetest of my sons until his baby brother came.  A quiet child with soft blue eyes as gentle as his soul.  Those eyes, his glance could melt any mother's heart no matter what mischief he got into and he got into plenty though nothing beyond naughty.  At least nothing I caught him at.
All that ended when his first mistress entered his life.  Her name was marajuana followed closely by cocaine and my precious boy was gone.  Lost to me forever although he never ventured very far geographically.  A few blocks, a few miles - infinity - unreachable - never mine again although I always knew he loved me in his own peculiar way.
He shook off the worst of the drugs I think, eventually, but my sweet, gentle boy was gone.  Gone from all of us who loved him though we saw him off and on.  And then, nineteen days after he turned fifty he was killed but for me my precious Johnny'd been long gone.